Dipping my toe in the water!

I’m in awe of people who reinvent themselves. Who multi-task. Who have more than one major thing going on in their lives at any one time. And I’m not talking about those thousands of people who hold down a full-time job while raising a family, doing the grocery shopping, taking care of elderly parents, walking the dog. This seems normal in this day and age, and don’t get me wrong, I have huge respect for these people – I feel exhausted when I look at their lives. I’m referring to people who seem to have multiple careers! They work ‘ full-time’, this is their 9-5 life, but they are also writing a blog or a book, designing something; clothes, a make-up line, something beautiful, and then do a bit of something else ‘on the side’. And this isn’t just a hobby, it’s another revenue stream!

It doesn’t seem enough to have a normal life anymore. By normal I mean a regular job, a family to take care of, a bit of a social life, a bit of downtime. Everyone seems to be doing so much more now; they’re multi-skilled and pack an enormous amount into already jam-packed lives. As an observer, an outsider looking in, in awe, I feel my life is pretty below par when I compare!

I am drawn to these people. I am fascinated by them. I think of them a lot. I dream of them sometimes. Bottom line, I guess I want to be one of them. Because it seems like their lives are amazing. Never dull. I imagine them rushing from one fantastic place, project or event to another, from one part of their lives to another, totally unfazed, as if this is just how it is, this is what life is supposed to be, this is the full monty!

Then I look at my own life! I work ‘full-time’. I put this in inverted commas as 9-5, Monday-Friday, doesn’t seem quite enough anymore. I am blessed to be able to work from home most of the time. So in reality, I should be able to take on something more, some creative endeavour, some new hobby. Why do I struggle to do this?

I’ve worked for my current employer for six years. I’ve done the same job for most of this time and what started off being something I really enjoyed has over time become dull and monotonous. But there are so many pluses to my situation; the flexibility, the freedom, the hands-off management style. So I do not want to walk away.

Which is why I got excited when a new opportunity arose within the company. A new position on a new team. A new boss, new colleagues, new challenges. So I went for it. And I got it. I am excited. Genuinely! It will change my working life significantly, challenging my brain like it hasn’t been challenged in some time. I’ll build new relationships within the company. I’ll put my mark and expertise on some very important projects. I know I will enjoy it. I think I’ll be good at it. So why do I feel like it’s just not enough?

Are we not contributing enough when this is what we do? When we hold down a ‘full-time’ job but in our free time we do what we want, or what our commitments require us to do? Should I be packing in more? Am I not fulfilling my purpose? Giving my gifts back to the world?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I am torn between my obligations to the world and my obligations to myself. Or is it the same thing? If there is a niggling doubt, a pushing, a coaxing in my brain telling me there is more, is it the Universe telling me, ‘get up girl, get out there, it’s a big and beautiful world and you’re not playing’.

I don’t know how creative I am. I don’t know what my gifts are. I honestly am not sure what my purpose is on this earth. But I do know it’s time to start exploring, to test the waters a bit, to try out a few things.

And so I am committing to writing this blog. To test this creative side of myself. To see if I enjoy it. To see if others enjoy it. To see if I can impact the world, outside of 9-5, in just a small way.

What are your dreams and are you pursuing them? Perhaps you too can take a small step today and get out in the world and play! Just a little!

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